eTalkeSucks

Coming back!

2006-10-01T09:17:00.000-07:00

Hello, possums! The individual who previously reviewed eTalk Daily on this blog has handed over the reigns to humble me (I'm not worthy!) because he/she simply can't take watching eTalk, er, daily. So watch this space beginning Monday, Oct. 2 for my thoughts on Canada's #1 source for everything Bell Globemedia.

Aug. 25

2006-08-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

Judging by tonight's teasers, the folks who put eTalk together have been busy reading the entertainment news sites on the Web since I had already read/heard every story. Don't they realize that their pubescent female audience goes online during the day? Well, let's see how well they rehash it. The top story featured David Giammarco as he should be -- heard but not seen -- in a segment about Canadians at the Emmy Awards. Hey, at least they made an effort to meet their CanCon requirements in an interesting way. Next, Ben Mulroney managed to make an interview with Joan Rivers all about him -- but at least he got her to publicly threaten to kill him on camera. There's a pay-per-view special I would sign-up for. Next came the string of stories taken from the Web that were teased at the beginning of the show, including one wherein eTalk mentioned the Jennifer-Lopez-is-pregnant rumour without adding that her publicist has flatly denied it. The "e-sightings" segment consisted of -- I kid you not -- shaky footage from across the street of Sonja Smits. Hello?! It's freakin' Sonja Smits!! It's only surprising that she's not serving coffee. Was eTalk's socially-retarded video guy Sean O'Neill really so scared of shooting footage of Sonja Smits that he had to hide across the street? Good grief. Next, a segment on AFI voiced-over by... by who? Why does eTalk not always introduce the people doing the voice-overs? Of course, no episode would be complete without a Bell Globemedia plug, this time for the painful-to-watch Comedy Inc. After the break, Zain Meghji was back from a day off to have his teeth whitened to introduce the news headlines. No real "news" but, whatever. The show's Canadian content consisted of a report on some TV movie no one will watch wherein about a hundred different people told us it was about fishing (who produced this segment?!). We get it. Tell us something else. Like how much of our tax money went towards making it? At one point Meghji referred to "the comic genius of Katie Crown." Who?! How dare you throw around the "comic genius" label? Meghji probably thinks Tanya Kim is a "broadcasting genius." Good grief. Later, another Bell Globemedia plug (for MTV) that was ostensibly about the band Marble Index. The only interesting part was one of the band member's observations that after a show in Tokyo they exited the venue to find a crowd of Japanese people. In Tokyo? Get outta here. You were expecting Swedes? This was followed by the second promo for Beerfest in two days, featuring the ear-bleeding delivery of Kim's voice-over. After the break, Canada's #1 source for everything Kreviazuk threw in a teaser for Monday's show, which will have a segment on...you guessed it...Chantal Kreviazuk. How ever will I make it through the weekend?

Aug. 24 show

2006-08-26T07:52:00.000-07:00

Ben Mulroney was back in the tiny (and cheesy) eTalk studio for tonight's show -- the very same studio, incidentally, where he first made CTV fall in love with him as one of the co-hosts of the moribund Chatroom on the now defunct Talk TV. Oh how the emotions must spill out every time he steps foot in there. I digress. The top story was about how R&B artist Massari "flew to Toronto's Pearson airport" to help a World Vision relief effort to Lebanon. Um, "fly to Toronto?" Doesn't he live here? Dude's from freakin' Ottawa. They actually used those annoying swoosh effects while talking about bombs flying over Lebanon... I always hid behind the sofa. Turns out Massari's relief efforts consisted of putting stickers on bundles of supplies and then autographing them... just what the suffering people of that war-ravaged country need. To put it all into perspective, some crappy wire service news about Tom Cruise was next. Then, eTalk had a clip with Dave Navarro which had been teased in the show intro as "an eTalk exclusive" even though almost every media outlet in Toronto did something with Navarro while he was in town. The segment wasn't labelled "exclusive," though, so perhaps producers were hoping we had forgotten that it was promoted as such at the top of the show. This was followed by the "network premiere" of the new video from The Killers -- not such a big deal when you consider it's already been on the music channels and all over the Internet. Besides, they only showed a few seconds of it and made us listen to Tanya Kim's horrible read over it. Next, the obligatory Canadian Idol segment, this time offering a look behind the scenes of Theresa Sokyrka's new video, as if anyone outside her family and optician cares. Yawn. David Giammarco, apparently far too filthy and scruffy to be seen on camera tonight, voiced-over a lame report on The Emmy Awards that re-hashed stuff anyone who cares would have already read/heard/watched elsewhere. Too bad eTalk couldn't have come up with some unique angle instead of taking the easy (read: cheap) route. After the break, the lovely Anna Cyzon showed up with her usual collection of headlines. Susie Wall, a competent reporter who is often fun to watch, followed with an interesting on-set piece with Jason Priestley, Adam Beach and Graham Greene. Next, a puff piece on Cheyenne complaining about not being able to go anywhere without being recognized. Honey, you could have served me at McDonald's and I wouldn't recognize you. Of course, eTalk managed to work in the obligatory Chantal Kreviazuk/Raine Maida mention. (I swear, they must have pics of Jordan Schwartz screwing Morley Nirenberg.) Sophie Gregoire was up next with blurbs on the Montreal film festival and Quebec actor Roy Dupuis. With the Canadian content mandate fulfilled, eTalk went right back to serving as a promotional vehicle for film studios with a commercial for...er, a segment on the movie Beerfest and one on How to Eat Fried Worms. Again, 30 minutes of my life I will never get back.

Aug. 23 show

2006-08-23T15:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight's top story consisted of claims by unnamed sources that Paramount was getting into bed with Brad Pitt and his production company now that the studio has dumped Tom Cruise. Yawn. This was followed by Elaine "Lainey" Lui with what Tanya Kim claimed was "some Lance Armstrong movie scoop." But, of course, this was nothing but Lui repeating the already widely reported news that Jake Gyllenhaal is going to play Armstrong in a movie about his life -- a role that was once going to go to Armstrong's pal Matthew McConaughey (Armstrong actually gave the scoop to ESPN.) The e-sightings segment that followed showed crappy pics of Hayden Christensen and Samuel Jackson in Toronto as well as some D-list actors from Hairspray as well as a terrible picture of Christopher Walken signing autographs in Toronto. Next up, another puff piece on the new Canadian version of Hello!, which Kim described as "the world's most respected and glamourous celeb magazine." The "exclusive" first look at the first issue was apparently voiced-over by Sophie Gregoire (although she was not identified) talking about the surviving Trudeau family members gracing the cover. Um, Gregoire is married to Justin Trudeau and here she is comparing the family to royalty. And remember in my comments about the Aug. 21 episode of eTalk I wrote: "Who wants to take bets there will be some eTalk personalities in one the first few issues?" I should have taken bets because sure enough Ben Mulroney's giant head appears in the inaugural issue. (At least now I don't have to bother buying a copy.) Speaking of Mulroney, he was on next with the "exclusive" report on the previous night's Canadian Idol wherein Steffi DiSupercalifragilisticexpialidocious insisted she felt good about being kicked off. Who wants to take bets she'll be working the pole within five years? A promo for a movie I will never see (but which eTalk's pubescent girl fanbase will no doubt rush out to see) was on next, followed by a decent piece on Audioslave's new album which was supposedly "exclusive." Riiiight, because the band won't be doing any other interviews to promote their new CD. The "exclusive" word was back after the break for a segment featuring Zain Meghji hanging out with BNL's Ed Robertson. (I'm guessing it was the first time Zany Gayhji was anywhere near a barenaked lady.) Anna Cyzon, who should be the host of eTalk partly because she can...um...read, was up next with news headlines. Meghji was back with junket clips about Idlewind. We learned nothing new about anyone or anything but at least we were spared that slimeball David Giammarco. This was followed after a break by the invisible Ben Mulroney narrating a segment on a rapper I've never heard of. You know, eTalk is still a fluffy piece of crap but at least they're not making as much stuff up and getting as much stuff wrong. A friend of mine who works as an intern on the show tells me that producers read this blog and are working a little harder to make sure I don't find errors to point out. Aw shucks. Now if only they would get rid of the red walls in the exec producer's office.

Aug. 22 show

2006-08-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight's top story was about the list of celebs coming to the Toronto International Film Festival. The segment started off well but then focused a little too much on Chantal Kreviazuk, who has a short film in the festival. Next, a report on cast changes on Saturday Night Live. Of course, eTalk had to add its own spin and got something wrong in the process. Tanya Kim wrongly said: "As an added pressure to (Lorne) Michaels, two shows debuting this fall, 30 Rock and Matthew Perry's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, use his famed late night show as a backdrop." In fact, 30 Rock uses a fictious show called The Girlie Show as a backdrop and Studio 60 is set in Hollywood, far from SNL's New York home. But who cares if it's wrong -- at least they got to work in a plug for two series that will air on CTV. For the first time in awhile, tonight's show featured "e-sightings" -- although it was only a crappy clip of Dave Chappelle going into a Toronto venue and an old picture of Rachel McAdams in Toronto even though she was sighted at a Vancouver restaurant. Finally, the "exclusive" Canadian Idol segment we count on to get us through the night. This was followed by a fluff piece on Chantal Kreviazuk -- quite possibly the one-millionth plug for Kreviazuk on the show. Does she have pictures of one of the eTalk producers fucking Jon Benet? Give us a break. Next, a filler piece showing the early work of some big stars. Sort of interesting, I must admit, but a bit of a cop-out in terms of covering entertainment. The delightful Anna Cyzon was sadly heard but not seen, during a rundown of the news, in which she reported that Bon Cop, Bad Cop made $350,000 in English Canada on its opening weekend -- not quite the "Canadian blockbuster history" eTalk predicted it would make just a few days ago. Fruitcake Zain Meghji had to ruin our buzz by coming on next with junket clips with the Outkast guys talking about their new movie Idlewind, although he was mercifully low-key. For the third freakin' time, we got served a puff piece on Mark Wahlberg's new movie, Invincible. It's a miracle how eTalk stretched out 10 minutes of interview footage. Next, Tanya Kim introduced a profile of a Canadian designer by making it about her: "Not only did he design my fabulous Oscar dress but he's fast becoming a go-to guy in the fashion industry." Yes, Tanya, making your dress surely put him in the big leagues. Whatever. Desperate to fill the rest of the episode, eTalk trotted out a segment featuring Sophie Gregoire on the set of her husband's upcoming TV movie. Um, we saw the same segment not too long ago. What a joke.

Aug. 21 show

2006-08-22T17:54:00.000-07:00

A lot happened in entertainment over the weekend so surely eTalk will have it all, right? Um, the top story tonight was the over-exposed Paris Hilton's CD launch in New York using a lot of clips supplied by the record label -- so this wasn't news as much as it was a commercial for the CD. Next up, some highlights (so to speak) from the previous night's Teen Choice Awards followed by "behind the scenes scoop" from Elaine "Lainey" Lui, who didn't attend the show and could therefore only repeat stuff she read online. Um, Elaine sweetheart, we read the same blogs you do. Next, a report on CBC's decision to cancel the kids consumer show Street Cents. Why is it that most of the time time eTalk gives any attention to a competing network it's usually about a show being cancelled? Ironically, the show was canned because kids are turning to the Internet for their information, which doesn't bode well for the future of eTalk. It took awhile but finally we got an "exclusive" segment on CTV's Canadian Idol. (For the record, I predict this year's Idol winner will be either the gay guy or the guy who looks gay.) After a break, another set of junket interview clips with Mark Wahlberg talking about The Invincible, showing Zain Meghji yet voiced-over by Tanya Kim. The under-used Anna Cyzon, the only real pro on eTalk, was up next with news headlines. Then, a blatant blowjob piece about the already moribund Canadian version of Hello! magazine. Weekly Scoop died after eight months, proving that Canadians do not want a homegrown celebrity magazine. Who wants to take bets there will be some eTalk personalities in one the first few issues? Later, another -- yes, another -- "exclusive" look inside the recording studio with the Canadian Idol finalists, just in case yesterday's similar segment wasn't enough to convince you not to buy the CD. The invisible Ben Mulroney narrated clips about new DVDs, including the DVD of season two of House, which airs on -- gasp! -- Global. The show ended with a segment about Alexisonfire's new album.

Aug. 18 show

2006-08-22T17:30:00.000-07:00

Canada's #1 source for everything Bell Globemedia opened with a piece on the 48 Fest at the MTV Canada studio in Toronto. After some news and gossip headlines, there was an "eTalk exclusive" with some chick from CTV's Instant Star who was posing for pictures. Wow, I bet the competition was pissed at missing out on that. We also got an "exclusive" look inside the recording studio with the finalists from CTV's Canadian Idol. (Judging from what we heard, the CD is crap.) Later, "only eTalk was there" for a book cover photo shoot with Dr. Marla Shapiro who is from, oh yes, CTV's Balance. There was some non-Bell Globemedia content, though, including also a report on Butch Walker narrated by an invisble Ben Mulroney (who wasn't even introduced). This was followed by yet another junket segment with the cast of The Illusionist filled with those annoying swoosh effects and a segment on Little Miss Sunshine. Near the end of the show, a piece about film producer Robert Lantos featuring nothing we didn't already know from watching his biography on the CBC. Please, remind me why anyone watches this show.

Aug. 16 show

2006-08-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

On tonight's show, Tanya Kim was back in front of her beloved TelePrompTer in the eTalk studio. With so much going on in the world of entertainment, what's tonight's top story? An interview with Nicole Richie and her dad Lionel. Thank God we didn't have to see grubby David Giammarco, although we did hear his cackle. Next, a plug for an upcoming show on CTV's sister station, MTV Canada about Nelly Furtado. Please, Nelly bonding with goats is not entertainment news. Neither is a recap of Canadian Idol, which airs on CTV. Welcome to "Canada's #1 source for everything Bell Globemedia." Next, a filler segment on Canadian celebs who have been out of the picture for awhile, including Kalan Porter (of CTV's Canadian Idol fame) who's back home in Medicine Hat caring for his ailing mom. Speaking of celebs no one cares about, next up was a piece on the Canadian movie Bon Cop, Bad Cop, which Kim described as being "on its way to making Canadian blockbuster history." Riiiight. This was followed by a junket interview with the cast of The Illusionist wherein Kim asked the most over-asked and boring question in history: "What about the story appealed to you?" What the fuck is she expecting? "Well, Tanya, I did it strictly for the paycheque." Zain Meghji showed up wearing a shirt decorated with what looked like Giammarco's vomit to give us the "news" -- or what is really a collection of stuff some intern read online. For the second day in a row, we were subjected to Giammarco's junket clips for Snakes on a Plane in which he once again made it all about him, suggesting sequels like (I kid you not) Sharks on a Subway and Mongooses on a Monorail. The sad thing is, he probably spent a lot of time coming up with those. And yes, there he was cackling like a crazed schoolgirl. Also, to keep the attention of the teen audience, the segment had a bizarre music track behind it. After a break we got the "world premiere" of the trailer for the Trailer Park Boys movie. Riiight...the world premiere. Because this movie is opening around the world. Not. The show wrapped up with a segment on a Canadian working in the touring production of the Bombay Dreams musical. As usual, you've got to sit through a lot of crap to get a little bit of substance.

Aug. 15 show

2006-08-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from my summer break and anxious to peruse Canada's #1 source for everything entertainment (God help Canada!), eTalk Daily. On this show, Tanya Kim was hosting on location in Calgary -- but instead of being somewhere interesting among the people of Calgary, she was perched on some rooftop patio looking down on the common people. Perhaps the producers were afraid of hecklers disrupting the taping. I digress. The top story, inexplicably, was a junket interview clip with Mark Wahlberg, in which freaky Zain Meghji actually managed to work in a plug for his lusty female producer. Next, Elaine "Lainey" Lui weighed in with her usual crap gossip culled from Web sites. The idiot also called Kurt Russell one of Kate Hudson's "parents" and referred to him as a "loving father." Er, Russell's her stepfather. Back to Kim, who introduced a segment on a Diesel fashion show in Calgary that, yes, she hosted. "Only our cameras can take you inside this hot show," she boasted, as if anyone cares. The segment showed Kim at the podium struggling to read a simple introduction from a script. For Christ's sake, couldn't she have said something off the top of her head? Next, a shot of someone taking a picture of Kim...okay, when will this start being about the event? Oh, there it is... we got to hear various unknown people answering questions we never got to hear. This was followed by a segment on the launch party for a song recorded in support of the fight against AIDS in Africa that was actually pretty interesting and didn't feature any eTalk egos...although we could have done without the transition sound effects. Next, a fake "throw" to Ben Mulroney in Toronto giving us an "exclusive" look inside Canadian Idol that went on way too long but probably made the 12-year-old girls who watch eTalk moist. Then we were subjected to creepy David Giammarco's junket interview with Samuel L. Jackson for Snakes on a Plane, in which he asked if it was true that the name was changed to "something else" and then switched back -- something that has been so widely reported and that any moron with Google could have told him. I'd rather fly with snakes on a plane than end up on the same flight as Giammarco. After the break, Meghji was in the eTalk studio with news about Canadian Business magazine's list of the most powerful Canadians in Hollywood. oddly, he pointed out that missing from the list were Shania Twain and Celine Dion -- neither of whom work in Hollywood. Then the clueless Meghji showed a clip of Richard Gere answering a question at a press conference and said: "He told eTalk." Gere might have answered a question from someone who works for eTalk but for goodness sake we can see he's at a bloody press conference so he actually told everyone. After earlier promising to show us the trailer for the new Trailer Park Boys movie, we got only a "preview" and a promise that we'll see the "world premiere" of the entire trailer tomorrow. Geez, can't wait. Next up was more Meghji, this time on a junket with the cast of Trust The Man. Thankfully, it was uncharacteristically light on the Meghji. After another break, we got a decent piece on a dude in Calgary who has taught celebrities how to ride horses for movies and a profile of up-and-coming singer Tomi Swick. A little substance to end the show.

It's still summer!

2006-08-08T15:07:00.000-07:00

After a week of pre-packaged shows filled mostly with rehashed segments, I was looking forward to reviewing new shows this week -- but turns out that eTalk is still running summer shows with rerun segments. So my break continues!

July 31 show

2006-07-31T18:19:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, Mel Gibson got busted, Pamela Anderson got married, and Lindsay Lohan got a new one ripped...but eTalk opened tonight's show with a repeat of its interview with Martin Short. It was the same interview aired when his show was playing in Toronto but they dragged it out tonight to promote his show on Broadway. Unbelievable. Next up, a "worldwide exclusive" (yes, Tanya Kim said "worldwide") about the celebrity guests at this year's One X One gala during the Toronto International Film Festival. You mean the "worldwide exclusive" that Matt Damon and John Legend will be there? Hmmm...didn't I see that somewhere? And why the "worldwide?" I'm sure somewhere in the Ukraine an entertainment show is kicking itself for missing that one. Now back to the filler... up next was a crappy segment on the offspring of famous directors and actors who are also working in show business. Suddenly, I realized this is a pre-packaged show. Hey, those eTalk interns deserve a break. There was some fairly new content, though, with creepy David Giammarco on a junket interview with Robin Williams... but this was followed by a rehash of a David Cronenberg profile. After the break, rehashed filler pieces on band members who go solo and minorities on prime time television. A segment from last year about the movie Three Needles was trotted back out because of the upcoming International AIDS Conference in Toronto. (Did we really need the cheesy sound effects in a segment about a serious subject like AIDS?) No mention of the fact that the movie, which screened at last year's Toronto Film Festival, never got a wide release. Then, an old behind-the-scenes look at Billable Hours. Well folks, if eTalk is taking a break from new shows this week, maybe I should seize the opportunity to take a break, too.

July 28 show

2006-07-28T15:39:00.000-07:00

Tonight's show opened with the widely-reported story about a letter from the production company behind Lindsay Lohan's new movie complaining about her behaviour. At least eTalk cited the source (thesmokinggun.com) this time and apparently did a little homework to find out that the letter was legitimate. Next up, the news that CTV was dying to report -- that the ABC/CBC show The One has been cancelled. Tanya Kim once again misled viewers by claiming the reality series bumped The National (it only bumped it in Ontario and Quebec). Next, Kim inexplicably did the voice-over for a junket segment with Zain Meghji and the cast of Scoop. This was followed by a 100% filler segment about the favourite summer songs of various stars (including five CTV "stars"). Then, "only eTalk was invited inside" the studio with Sloan. Big deal. All they did was brag about how many people played their song in MySpace. Next, David Giammarco's voice mysteriously appeared to narrate a piece on Justin Trudeau's new TV movie even though the interview was done by Sophie Gregoire, who happens to be Trudeau's wife. Weird. The obligatory Idol segment featured three former Idol competitors shopping for vintage clothes. Yes, you read that right. In a profile of comic actor Ryan Belleville, Kim bragged that he "conquered" TV (his series lasted less than one season) and "made movie magic" in Going the Distance (which was a box office flop). All in all, a fairly harmless show.

July 27 show

2006-07-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

The top story was about Beyonce, whom eTalk erroneously reported a few weeks ago had split from Jay-Z. Apparently all is forgiven, because Tanya Kim interviewed the singer in New York. Thankfully, the segment was light on the annoying sound effects for which eTalk is usually so fond. Next, the "network premiere" of Janet Jackson's new video. Of course, not really, because they only showed a few seconds of the video. This was followed by Susie Wall with "the scoop" on Pamela Anderson's plans to have several weddings -- news that was all over the Web all day. Next, an inexplicably brief interview with Hilary Duff in London, Ontario, that didn't really tell us anything. David Giammarco -- who is, based on his look, now homeless -- brought us yet more junket clips for Miami Vice. The obligatory Giammarco cackle was there. It wouldn't be an eTalk episode without a pointless "exclusive" Canadian Idol segment -- this time featuring Bonnie Stern at the Idol mansion learning how to barbecue. It was the longest segment on the show and had nothing to do with entertainment. Kim's introduction to the next segment reminded me how she is hands-down the worst TelePromTer reader in the history of television. After the break, an "exclusive" (God, they love that word) about a Vancouver kid who's going to play Halle Berry's son in a movie. Then, a puff piece on a singer named Peaches that was interesting only because Kim said "impeach my Bush" and cut to Peaches saying "piss in my pimp cup" on what is essentially a youth show!

Will there be an eRetraction?

2006-07-26T18:32:00.000-07:00

No new eTalk tonight due to a heavy schedule of American programs on CTV. However, a lot of loyal readers have commented (no, I do not post comments anymore because a few idiots spoiled it for everyone) about an item on eTalk from a couple of nights ago. You may recall they reported that PETA activist Pamela Anderson was involved in a scandal because she was a partner in a restaurant called Blacksteel that offers foie gras on its menu. Well, like so much of what you hear on eTalk, this was something they got off the Web without doing any fact-checking -- and it's false. But according to PETA: "Pam isn’t a partner in Blacksteel and makes no money from it - she just helped with some start up money because she knew the chef. There is no scandal here." I won't hold my breath for eTalk to retract their report...even though it would be the right thing to do.

July 25 show

2006-07-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

eTalk opened with the "exclusive" "network premiere" of Justin Timberlake's new video. Of course, this isn't such a big deal since it's been all over the Web and on the cable music channels, not to mention that eTalk only showed a bit of the video. Must be a slow entertainment news day. It also sounded as if Tanya Kim said the video features "Timberland" when she should have said "Timbaland." Next, the news that the Rolling Stones have added three Canadian stops to their tour, which eTalk turned into a plug for CTV's Canadian Idol. Sigh. This was followed by -- surprise -- an "exclusive" report by Ben Mulroney on Idol. Sadly, David Giammarco was back, this time with clips from his Miami Vice junket. Admittedly, it was fun to try to figure out who is filthier...Giammarco or Colin Farrell. Giammarco also did a piece with Lionel Richie and Nicole Richie that was so bizarre, even Kim laughed when it was done. For some unknown reason, the annoying Elaine "Lainey" Lui was on with a rundown of music from female artists peppered with her opinions (even though I'm at a loss to understand why anyone should care about what Lui thinks). Later, a puff piece about a little girl on some kids' show that was clearly provided pre-produced to eTalk -- although viewers were never told it was basically a free advertisement. Tonight's filler segment was on a band called The Reason and, of course, "only eTalk" was invited into their studio. Only eTalk, of course, because who elses gives a crap? The show ended with a cheesy fake exchange between Kim and Mulroney (they weren't really talking to or hearing each other). Then, inexplicably, they rolled credits over Sarah McLachlan's video for "Fallen." What, there were no recent videos available?

July 24 show

2006-07-24T17:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight's top story was about Steve Nash's charity event in Vancouver. Fair enough. But then Elaine "Lainey" Lui popped up in the studio with some boring gossip about Nicole Richie, Natalie Portman and Elisha Cuthbert -- most of it taken off the Web. Next up, the "exclusive" report on Hayden Christensen's participation in the 2006 Bullrun that eTalk promised last week. Tanya Kim said the transmission blew in Christensen's Lamborghini, even though they showed him driving a Ferrari. Good work, guys. Then Anna Cyzon reported from the Bullrun party, where she claimed there were some "big names" (last week, eTalk erroneously reported that Christensen, Dennis Rodman and Paris Hilton would be there) even though she interviewed only F-list celebrities like Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and Carl Lewis. This crap was followed by more mind-numbing "exclusive" Canadian Idol babbling. Freaky Zain Meghji was up next with junket interview clips for the movie Scoop, oddly narrated not by him but by Kim. Then, despite teasing it quite dramatically at the opening, eTalk showed only one single quick shot of a photo of Christensen from a magazine spread. Then we found out that former Idol runner-up Theresa Sokyrka told eTalk "exclusively" about her new album. Riiight. I'm sure she won't talk about the CD to anyone else. And I'm sure ET Canada is kicking itself for not landing THAT exclusive. Give me a break. Next, a great look at John Cleese's show in Montreal in which he "shot" Ben Mulroney to death as a gift to all Canadians. The show ended with a rundown of new DVDs (filler!).

July 21 show

2006-07-24T16:43:00.000-07:00

Tonight's show started with a rather odd story about Outkast apparently refusing to go on Oprah Winfrey's show. eTalk referred to something reported on Fox News and then said it wasn't true (sort of the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?). Then it dragged out old clips about hip hop artists who didn't want to be on Oprah's show... which all seemed like much ado about nothing. And then to make it all even more bizarre, Tanya Kim wrapped it up by saying: "While you won't see Outkast on Oprah..." Um, why won't we? You just said the rumour about Outkast not wanting to be on Oprah wasn't true -- so it's possible they'll get asked some day. I'm confused. In the Daily Dish segment, Kim reported that James Blunt is "rumoured to be secretly dating supermodel Petra Nemcova." Um, it's not "rumoured" nor is it a "secret" that they have been dating. Has anyone at eTalk picked up a magazine or surfed the Web lately? For crying out loud, Nemcova has TALKED about their relationship! Someone at eTalk needs to teach all those interns how to do research. Next up was Shaun Majumder trying to find lunch in Montreal during the Just For Laughs comedy festival. This is entertainment news? Pure filler and not even funny (and why was Majumder's mic flash below his hand?). This was followed by a piece on Brian Littrell that eTalk was clearly sitting on for a few weeks. Oddly, Ben Mulroney (who was off tonight) did the voice-over, even though he was never introduced by Kim... so if you were not familiar with Mulroney's role on the show, you'd be wondering who the mystery "reporter" was. Mulroney also voiced the next segment, a profile on Don McKellar. After the first break there was a promo spot for next week, promising that only eTalk could take us inside a Bullrun pit stop party with Hayden Christensen, Dennis Rodman and Paris Hilton -- even though neither Rodman nor Hilton were scheduled to be attending the party. Hmmm... Anyway, eTalk then trotted out a piece on the Winnipeg kid whose body was used in the movie Little Man. Yawn. The movie's been out two weeks already. A junket segment on Monster House was voiced by...um...we have no clue because Kim never introduced her. How amateur. Next, a pretty good piece on Ra McGuire, the lead singer of Trooper, even though it's unlikely eTalk's 12-year-old viewers know who he is or have ever heard of Trooper. Next, another promo for the Bullrun, this time promising that only eTalk can take us inside Christensen's Lamborghini as he races through Toronto -- even though the actor drove a Ferrari in the race. The show ended with some filler on a Canadian band I've never heard of and don't particularly like, narrated by another unidentified mystery voice. My head hurts.

July 20 show

2006-07-20T15:53:00.000-07:00

Ben Mulroney is back from his "Idol assignment," which is great because it gives us a bit of relief from the annoying vocal stylings of Tanya Kim. The top story was one of eTalk's infamous bogus yarns -- this time about Hayden Christensen and Sienna Miller. Relying on Elaine "Lainey" Lui for celebrity information is rarely a good idea, even though she only repeats stuff she's read online. Where to begin? "They're doing re-shoots (for Factory Girl) right now," Lui said. Wrong. "Having Hayden and Jude (Law) in New York with her in the same place at the same time is what's making Sienna stressed out." Wrong. Jude, who's been in France, touched down in Toronto on July 19th and was walking around Toronto with Sienna today. Oh well, it's a juicy story -- even though it's not true. As if there was nothing else going on in the world of entertainment, the second segment of the show was yet more clips from the record company-supplied behind-the-scenes look at the making of Jessica Simpson's new video. Again, eTalk didn't bother to let viewers know where the content came from. Surprisingly, next up was a report on a non-CTV show, Rock Star: Supernova... as well as a mention of CBC's The One and how badly it did in the ratings. Mulroney could barely contain his glee. Then (shock!), another segment on a non-CTV show. eTalk gave some good coverage to Citytv's Canada's Next Top Model. Mind you, they're promoting a show that's over. In the e-sightings, another nausea-inducing clip of Tom Sizemore (hold the camera still!!) from a distance (move in closer!!). After the first break, a puff piece on Mobile and Peaches that was, for some odd reason, labelled "exclusive." Toothy freak Zain Meghji checked in from Montreal, where he is ostensibly covering the Just For Laughs festival (why couldn't Sophie Gregoire do it?). We were subjected to a very un-funny piano playing comic and Meghji laughing at anything Craig Ferguson said. (Hey, wait a second, did he just make fun of blog-writers?!) This was followed by more promotion for Clerks II and Monster House filled with eTalk's obnoxious sound effects to keep viewers awake. Then, a segment on Odd Job Jack (yes, it airs on CTV's sister station, The Comedy Network). The show ended with the promised "network premiere" of Mobile's new video, even though the show spent so much airtime promoting the fact that it was coming up that we only got to see a few seconds of it.

No July 19 show

2006-07-20T15:23:00.000-07:00

In most markets, eTalk was pre-empted by So You Think You Can Dance. In the markets where it aired, it was merely a pre-packaged music episode.

The ratings

2006-07-19T14:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I mentioned the Bureau of Broadcast Measurement (BBM) ratings and this prompted several readers (no, I don't publish comments anymore) to ask how well eTalk does. Unfortunately, my source is only able to provide me with the BBM numbers for the Toronto Extended Market, which is basically Southern Ontario. In the important Adult 18-49 demographic, eTalk had an 8.4 share yesterday, compared to ET Canada's 6.6. The only show to beat eTalk in its timeslot yesterday was Coronation Street on CBC, which had a 12.0 share among Adults 18-49. Remember, this is Toronto Extended Market only. So how did eTalk stack-up against other entertainment shows? The Insider (on CH) did a 2.6 a half-hour earlier, and a half-hour later both ET and Access Hollywood did a 7.7 share. Star! Daily managed only a 1.4. In total audience (in the Toronto Extended Market), eTalk was #1 with 87,000 viewers, followed by ET (75,000), Access Hollywood (69,000), ET Canada (50,000), Insider (37,000) and Star! Daily (10,000).

July 18 show

2006-07-18T15:36:00.000-07:00

Tonight's show was 100% Giammarco-free! The top story was news about the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF), which is a big event to be certain but pretty local for those viewers outside of the city (according to the Bureau of Broadcast Measurement, only about 85,000 people in Toronto are watching eTalk this week). Next, the show dragged out a nearly year-old interview with the cast of Edison Force without mentioning how old it was nor talking about the film's Canadian connection (surely one of eTalk's interns could have found out it was shot in Vancouver). Then Kim said: "For unspecified reasons, Edison Force skipped theatres." Since it was made nearly two years ago and ended up going straight-to-DVD, chances are the "unspecified reason" is that it sucks! The third segment was a bunch of "exclusive" pics of Ashlee Simpson walking around Toronto. Yawn. This was followed by another record company-supplied promotional piece on the making of Jessica Simpson's new video. Shouldn't eTalk let viewers know that this is basically an ad? Finally, Ben Mulroney graced the screen with his "exclusive" report on Canadian Idol. Of course, there was no mention of how many of the performances were dreadful or why the judges still heaped praise on each and every one of them. But I'm not a 12-year-old girl. Next, a commercial... er, I mean a report... on the new movie Clerks II. After the first break, more of Kim's awful voice-over work in a segment on Snakes on a Plane. Again, no mention that it was shot in Canada. Later, another junket clip collection from Zain Meghji with the cast of Lady in the Water. Then "only we've got your sneak peek at the season premiere of Instant Star," which is, of course, a CTV show. A crappy show full of fluff, indeed. Where was the story on Darren Hayes' coming out? Or on the death of Mickey Spillane? No time for real entertainment news when you've got CTV shows to plug.

July 17 show

2006-07-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

ET Canada had the exclusive official photos from Avril Lavigne's wedding as well as an interview with the bride herself, but that didn't stop eTalk from teasing: "eTalk takes you inside Avril and Deryk's weekend wedding." But all the show really had was grainy helicopter pictures (widely available online) and talking head Elaine "Lainey" Liu rehashing details (already widely reported elsewhere over the last few days), topped up with filler background clips. Nice try. The second story of the night was (gasp!) another exclusive about Canadian Idol, this time telling us all about how wonderful Nelly Furtado is. Out of nowhere came a packaged segment on the making of Jessica Simpson's new video, undoubtedly provided by the record label. eTalk made no mention that this was essentially a commercial for the song. The audio was so bad, they added subtitles! The e-sightings segment showed far-off footage of Rob Lowe having lunch on a patio in Toronto (move in closer and hold the camera steady!), a bad clip of Bob Saget walking around Toronto and -- astounding as it is -- another pic of some Degrassi (yes, a CTV show) "star" outside Starbucks... the same e-sighting as on Friday's show! The Daily Dish ended with a not-so-subtle shot at The One. "The verdict's out on whether (it) will be a hit or a miss," said Tanya Kim, who wondered aloud if the show can "set itself apart from other Idol imitators." Um, excuse me...Canadian Idol is based on the British Pop Idol show, which in turn is inspired by countless televised talent competitions over the years. Spooky Zain Meghji got all serious on a junket for Lady in the Water, which was actually refreshing (well, except for his big laugh at the end). After the first break, pro Anna Cyzon was up with some good entertainment news headlines. Why isn't she the host of eTalk? Meghji was back with a report on a reggae festival in Montreal, which consisted mostly of subjecting poor Shaggy to self-indulgent yapping, ending with a slow-motion shot of Meghji dancing. So you went to cover a music festival and made the segment all about you? Nice work. Next, "only eTalk" could give us a preview of Sam Roberts' special on MTV, which is owned by CTV's parent company. The rest of the show was filler, but thankfully there was not a sign of David Giammarco. At the end, there was a bizarre question in the show's regular "EQ poll" - "Who are you most excited to see at the Montreal Just For Laughs comedy fest?" Hmmm...I don't live in Montreal and I'm not going there, so I'd have to say...nobody! As will almost everyone else watching eTalk. So why the stupid local question on a national show? So they could work in their own Ben Mulroney. There he was as choice #3. How much you wanna bet he tops the poll results tomorrow? What a joke.

July 15 show

2006-07-14T15:33:00.000-07:00

Tonight's show started with "news" of Sienna Miller and James Franco shooting a movie in Niagara Falls -- and speculation about whether they are a couple off-screen, too. Great visuals of the two stars on location, but this is old news. Various sites on the Web have been all over this for at least a week and there have been a lot more suggestive photos online than the ones eTalk showed. Next, the show claimed to have spotted Avril Lavigne's parents at Toronto's airport this morning on their way to Los Angeles (how do they know what Lavigne's parents look like?). After a few harmless filler pieces, David Giammarco was back with (yawn) another behind-the-scenes look at Nickelback on the road. Did I mention it was "exclusive?" This time, we got to see inside his tour bus. Well, in between shots of Giammarco. After the first break, eTalk repackaged its footage of Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling in Ottawa (that they've shown several times already) for a pointless segment on how they started their romance. Of course, it ended with a plug for Spelling's new show, which airs of CTV. A little later, another filler piece (packed with whooshes and bangs, of course) about some buzz bands. Let's give eTalk a break, it is a Friday in summer...who wants to work? Then, yet another segment on CTV's Whistler, followed by "exclusive" clips of Farley Flex of CTV's Canadian Idol walking around St. Kitt's. This is entertainment?! Have a good weekend!

July 14 show

2006-07-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

"Avril Lavigne is getting married this weekend," Tanya Kim teased at the top of the show. "From the registry to her gown and the secret location, we've got all the details on this rock star wedding." Of course, this turned out to be one of eTalk's sneaky "we gotcha!" teases because, they did not have all the details -- only rumours about the registry and gown and no idea about the secret location. Next up, an "exclusive" report from Ben Mulroney on the set of Canadian Idol. How did they get exclusive interviews with the eliminated contestants?! They must have connections at CTV. Oh wait... Moving on, Susie Wall was on next with news culled from the newspapers and Web. I suppose this is all interesting stuff if you went through your day without reading entertainment news anywhere else. Next, the e-sightings segment, in which we were treated to far-off video of a Degrassi star (yes, a CTV show) outside Starbucks. For crying out loud, you could have just crossed the street and shot some footage of her...she's on freakin' Degrassi. Hell, she probably would have held the camera for you. There was also some shaky video of Neil Young leaving his hotel -- sorta cool. This was followed by a pretty interesting piece on Nelly Furtado's interview with an overseas gay magazine (although it's more than a month late since the same interview appeared in North American mag Genre at the end of May). No doubt this is the first of many Nelly-butt-kissing segments leading up to her appearance on Idol. Mulroney was back (in voice only) to narrate a swoosh/bang heavy report on real-life couples battling it out at the box office. Pure fluff, to be sure, but not all that bad to watch. Kim followed with a piece on Avril Lavigne's changing style and a few words from the man who supposedly discovered her. Again, not bad. (Keep it up and I'm out of a hobby.) But Zain Meghji killed the buzz with an alleged behind-the-scenes look at Spamalot that he made all about him instead. Next up, more Meghji... this time hanging out with Canadian comic Shawn Majumber. Yawn. The adorable Sophie Gregoire took a decent look at some showbiz happenings in la belle province and then Kim promoted yet another Nickelback story on tomorrow's show (although it looked and sounded like it was cut from today's show). Why did I enjoy today's show so much? Two words: No Giammarco!

The losers have arrived

2006-07-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

Alright, a small handful of visitors have started sending in comments that have nothing to do with eTalk but instead take shots at me and this blog. It's a shame there are people out there too stupid to understand that this is a blog about eTalk. I mean, really, the only thing more pathetic than writing a blog about eTalk is writing stupid comments about a blog about eTalk. Anyway, from now on I will only be reviewing comments once a day and will only be posting comments that are relevant to the topic of this blog. You can cry censorship but it's my blog. Do newspapers and magazines print every stupid letter they receive? Do TV networks broadcast every stupid letter they get? It's indeed a shame that a few people out there don't understand the topic of this blog (despite its self-explanatory name) and don't understand that it's all in good fun. I won't let them ruin it for the majority of visitors who enjoy it.