June 29 show

"We say goodbye to four talented Idols," Ben Mulroney said. "And later in the show we have exclusive interviews." Enough with using the word "exclusive" on all your Idol coverage. It's a CTV show so of course you're the only one with behind-the-scenes access! We expect nothing less. Now shut up! eTalk opened tonight with "breaking news" about Chad Kroeger's alleged drunk driving incident in Surrey, B.C. and then went, oddly, right into gossip that Star Jones Reynolds lost her job on The View partly because of her extreme weight loss. Then there was an "exclusive" preview of Star magazine's cover story on skinny celebs with comments from Bonnie Fuller, who is just plain awful on television. Zain Meghji did his umpteenth segment from the The Devil Wears Prada junket, this time asking the most inane question a newbie can ask actors: "What was it like working with (insert name of star)?" In this case, Meryl Streep. What does he expect her co-stars to say? Bad things?! Someone get Meghji a producer who can come up with better questions! Worse, eTalk used the same clip of Anne Hathaway talking about wetting her pants that it aired last week! We really didn't need to hear Meghki say "liquid coming out of something" for a second time. Come to think of it, we didn't need to hear it the first time. eTalk also gave us yet another segment (yes, it was "exclusive") at Mary Jo Eustace's house. Memo to eTalk producers: Nobody cares! She hosted a cooking show a million years ago and if her husband hadn't dumped her for Tori Spelling, you wouldn't waste the videotape on her. It's "exclusive" because no one else wants to give her another second of airtime. Why not use the airtime to promote an up-and-coming Canadian artist or performer instead of wasting it on a washed-up scorned woman? Finally, Mulroney and Tanya Kim did one of eTalk's infamous fake throws, this time to reporter David Giammarco (who apparently still hasn't had a bath). Do producers really think we believe he's standing by live or even hearing what Mulroney and Kim are saying? We know it's on tape. Of course, the interview with Sir George Martin and his son Giles consisted mostly of Giammarco's creepy cackling. Overall, tonight's episode was as shallow as ever but not as full of crap as it often is.

June 28 show

As usual, today's teasers were crap. "Only eTalk's got the real story on why Phil King left (Canadian Idol)." Er, only eTalk because no one else cares? And why assume that everyone who watches eTalk also watches Idol? (We found later that Phil left the top 22 because his dad isn't well, his mom has a bad back and he doesn't want to miss his baby's first birthday...yawn.) I digress. "Britney Spears is heading home to Lousiana and only we can tell you why!" Well, actually, I already knew why because I read it online earlier in the day. Do eTalk's producers never surf the Web? In a junket interview to promote A Scanner Darkly (which Tanya Kim earlier misidentified as merely Scanner Darkly), creepy David Giammarco giggled like a school girl while Keanu Reeves gave short, bored answers to his stupid questions. In the eSightings segment, we saw a pointless clip of Martin Short getting into his car (after all this time, why can't Sean O'Neill hold the camera steady?) as Kim told us that Short waved to the camera (though we never saw him do so). eTalk then had a little news item about Brendan Fraser, erroneously identifying him as "homegrown hottie " (er, he was born in Indianapolis, Indiana and primarily raised in parts of Europe and in Seattle). Staying true to the "promote our own" policy, eTalk ostensibly covered a music festival in Toronto by talking only to singer and occasional eTalk correspondent Jully Black. The eTalk Playlist at the end of the show misspelled the singer of the top single (it's Taylor Hicks, not Hick). Go back to sleep.

June 27 show

Introducing a story on Star Jones Reynolds' departure from The View, Tanya Kim proclaimed: "That's what she said on air - but we've got the real story!" The real story that you would already know if you went online, of course. Nothing new here. Kim also offered up "your first look at Spider-Man 3" without mentioning that it wouldn't really be your first look if you had seen it online earlier in the day. eTalk also erroneously reported that the Toronto International Film Festival "has lured Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett" - which isn't true because the festival has only "lured" the film Babel, in which they star. While it's likely Pitt and Blanchett will come support the film, there's been no announcement. (eTalk also inexplicably used graphics from last year's festival, including last year's dates, during this segment.) Then came the segment on Bonnie Fuller, which had been teased at the top of the show as "Bonnie Fuller only talks to us about her $1.5 million contract." After incorrectly identifying Fuller (Kim said she was editorial director of American Media and Star magazine even though Star is part of American Media), Kim said: "Only eTalk has got the scoop." But, in fact, neither Kim nor Fuller gave any details about her contract - instead Fuller said she was happy, she loves Canada and she's going camping in Algonquin Park this summer. Keeping eTalk's tradition of promoting their own and offering no real information or context, Zain Meghji was at the Dora Awards where the first person he interviewed was Canadian Idol correspondent Elana Juatco, who was identified as a "nominee." A nominee for what role in what production?! Then the clueless Meghji asked presenter Megan Follows (who was not nominated for anything) how it feels to be recognized by her peers. "I would imagine it feels really good," Follows politely replied. The show wrapped up with an "exclusive" sneak peek of Hedley's MTV Diary...because, of course, MTV in Canada is owned by CTV's parent company.

June 26 show

Not much to pick on today. Tanya Kim advised at the top that "Ben Mulroney is on Idol assignment," which really means, "Ben Mulroney is off hosting Idol." So what compelling entertainment news did eTalk offer today? It mentioned two celebrity weddings over the weekend (hey, what about the third everyone else was mentioning, Patricia Arquette and Thomas Jane?), and creepy David Giammarco wasted red carpet access at the Pirates of the Caribbean premiere to talk to Lynda Carter (?) and Tia Carrere (he described her as being "like a fellow Canadian" because she shot a now-defunct series here and then asked if she had a loonie on her). Way to promote the movie, freak. Giammarco also used his screen time to prove that he and producer Jerry Bruckheimer are not the same person. Um, we never thought they were. Then there was "exclusive" Idol coverage (yawn... it's a CTV show so we'd expect nothing less), and a relatively good interview with a poorly-lit Outkast. Oddly, Giammarco's junket interview clips with the cast of You, Me & Dupree were labelled "This Just In." Other stories included interviews with Jacksoul's Haydain Neale as well as Canadian thespians Albert Schultz and Megan Follows. eTalk's Zain Meghji also rehashed a gossip item from the June 24 Globe and Mail (same parent company as CTV, incidentally) about rumours that Elton John and his partner David Furnish have bought a townhouse in Cobourg, Ontario. So, as usual, viewers really learned nothing new from today's eTalk -- at least not any one who goes online during the day for entertainment news, listens to the radio, watches daytime television, or reads a newspaper.

June 26 teasers

The teasers are where producers try to grab your attention and keep you tuned in. eTalk Daily's teasers are almost always sensational and frequently misleading. Today, Tanya Kim promised: 1. "Only eTalk can tell you" what Elisha Cuthbert and boyfriend Sean Avery have "been up to." They were at the Grand Prix in Montreal (widely reported already) and hanging out in Toronto. So? eTalk wonders aloud (simply because Elisha and Sean are dating, presumably) "could Elisha Cuthbert be next to walk down the aisle?" 2. About Diana Krall: "We've got the scoop on her big news." Now, since "scoop" is defined as either "current information" or "information published or broadcast before a competitor," we expected something juicy but turns out it was the same news widely reported everywhere else -- that Krall is pregnant. Shockingly, eTalk later states it was "obvious" a baby was on the way, citing an interview it did with Krall's husband Elvis Costello. What did he say that made it obvious he was going to knock up his bride? "When you love somebody you give them all of your support." He said "support," eTalk, not "sperm." 3. On Canadian Idol: "Only we've got the behind-the-scenes footage you won't see anywhere else." Er, because only we own and produce Canadian Idol and therefore wouldn't let anyone else go behind the scenes. 4. And this gem: "Only eTalk was invited to dinner with Tara Reid." Sounds like somewhat of a coup, right? Turns out they had two crappy snapshots of Reid partying in Montreal during Grand Prix weekend. Hardly an invitation... and she didn't even look like she was having dinner. Actually, the teaser was a bold-faced lie.

Enough with the sound effects!

One of the most annoying things about eTalk Daily is the over-usage of sound effects for all the transitions. Every time something moves on screen, there's a whoosh or a thud. Is this designed to wake viewers up who have fallen asleep watching such a boring show?

Welcome

This is a brand new blog that will dig through the crap that is eTalk Daily, a half-hour entertainment show that airs weeknights on CTV. Hosted by the network's ubiquitous Ben Mulroney and TV's worst TelePrompTer reader Tanya Kim, the show is infamous for two things: a) Blowing its own horn and b) Frequently reporting things that are misleading, inaccurate or just plain wrong. If watching the show is too painful for you, simply click back here every day for a summary.