Aug. 23 show

Tonight's top story consisted of claims by unnamed sources that Paramount was getting into bed with Brad Pitt and his production company now that the studio has dumped Tom Cruise. Yawn. This was followed by Elaine "Lainey" Lui with what Tanya Kim claimed was "some Lance Armstrong movie scoop." But, of course, this was nothing but Lui repeating the already widely reported news that Jake Gyllenhaal is going to play Armstrong in a movie about his life -- a role that was once going to go to Armstrong's pal Matthew McConaughey (Armstrong actually gave the scoop to ESPN.) The e-sightings segment that followed showed crappy pics of Hayden Christensen and Samuel Jackson in Toronto as well as some D-list actors from Hairspray as well as a terrible picture of Christopher Walken signing autographs in Toronto. Next up, another puff piece on the new Canadian version of Hello!, which Kim described as "the world's most respected and glamourous celeb magazine." The "exclusive" first look at the first issue was apparently voiced-over by Sophie Gregoire (although she was not identified) talking about the surviving Trudeau family members gracing the cover. Um, Gregoire is married to Justin Trudeau and here she is comparing the family to royalty. And remember in my comments about the Aug. 21 episode of eTalk I wrote: "Who wants to take bets there will be some eTalk personalities in one the first few issues?" I should have taken bets because sure enough Ben Mulroney's giant head appears in the inaugural issue. (At least now I don't have to bother buying a copy.) Speaking of Mulroney, he was on next with the "exclusive" report on the previous night's Canadian Idol wherein Steffi DiSupercalifragilisticexpialidocious insisted she felt good about being kicked off. Who wants to take bets she'll be working the pole within five years? A promo for a movie I will never see (but which eTalk's pubescent girl fanbase will no doubt rush out to see) was on next, followed by a decent piece on Audioslave's new album which was supposedly "exclusive." Riiiight, because the band won't be doing any other interviews to promote their new CD. The "exclusive" word was back after the break for a segment featuring Zain Meghji hanging out with BNL's Ed Robertson. (I'm guessing it was the first time Zany Gayhji was anywhere near a barenaked lady.) Anna Cyzon, who should be the host of eTalk partly because she can...um...read, was up next with news headlines. Meghji was back with junket clips about Idlewind. We learned nothing new about anyone or anything but at least we were spared that slimeball David Giammarco. This was followed after a break by the invisible Ben Mulroney narrating a segment on a rapper I've never heard of. You know, eTalk is still a fluffy piece of crap but at least they're not making as much stuff up and getting as much stuff wrong. A friend of mine who works as an intern on the show tells me that producers read this blog and are working a little harder to make sure I don't find errors to point out. Aw shucks. Now if only they would get rid of the red walls in the exec producer's office.